Half A Decade of Entrepreneurial Efforts - My Story
The raw side of building something real
Confession: I’ve been trying to start a successful business for half a decade. I’ve built…well…nothing.
Here’s a candid look at my real, and very raw journey. The unconventional side of entrepreneurship, the parts I’m sure (I hope) many of you will relate to, and maybe just maybe I can make you feel a little less indifferent about your entrepreneurial path. The truth of it is that we are unique; our brands, our teams, our companies, our vision, our story, and our mission are all rooted in our own experiences.
You started this path for one reason or another, as did I. From dropping out of university to making muletape horse halters in my bedroom (Edmund Halters - my first real business!). To date, I'm going back to school, developing an entire skincare product and service business, and am creating an accessible networking and educational platform that I wish I had when I started, for founders and visionaries alike.
Quite the plot twist looking back at it. I’m sure my parents were a little flabbergasted as in between all that I was taking courses left and right that I couldnt afford (one of which I just paid off this year), getting certified in Reiki, learning herbology, and building my IG to 4k to never actually sell a damn thing. I think they were a bit concerned with me having a stable career path, considering my indecisiveness and phoning them what seemed like every few months to explain I'm doing this new, entirely different, business thing.
My childhood before this was predominantly spent on the back of a horse (if I could have been 24/7, I would have). Horses taught me a lot, and unbeknownst to me back then, a lot about business & leadership. There was a quote from a popular trainer I followed that has always stuck with me, as it applies to more than just training horses, but to life.
“Frustration begins where knowledge ends.”
This quote truly embodies the phases of growth I experienced over the half a decade I spent chasing what I believed back then was a successful business. I hit a lot of walls, felt a lot of insecurity, pivoted maybe too much, was riddled with self-doubt, and felt a lot of frustration.
I was juggling part-time jobs, sales positions, anything I could to fund my vision. It kept me motivated, and I constantly told myself that one day I won't have to do this. One day, I won't be clocking into someone else's empire, one day I can live to be the creative, multidimensional and passionate person who I know myself to be.
As per usual, shit hit the fan. I’d find myself knee deep in a new idea yet again, and making moves towards it. Sometimes that frustration ate me up so much inside I couldn't stand my current day job any longer, I became bitter, and had to change it up, but still somehow make ends meet and make enough to bootstrap whatever it was I was doing. The availability of job opportunities that allowed me to shift so impulsively is something I look back on as a real luxury.
Through the frustration, I juggled those jobs, tallying every paycheck and expense with a calculator. Throughout those years, it felt like I was getting tossed around like a coin in the dryer. “What am I missing?” was the question on repeat that plagued my mind late at night and early in the morning. I felt frustrated to open my phone and see others making a similar vision an overnight reality. I dove into the courses, the books, anything and everything I could to learn. When really, that experience was a blessing, I didn't yet have the perspective to see - that took a lot of growing.
Those years, I may not have built any businesses, but they built me. All the mistakes I made held more value than any course, book, coach, or mastermind could offer me. They forced me to take a good, long and hard look in the mirror to see the limitations that I had set upon myself. My beliefs, in my path, in my craft, and within myself were challenged relentlessly. Shaping my self-perception as I grew through it - that alone was a blessing of a lifetime to have the opportunities I did to try all the shit, fall flat on my face, and get back up again.
I knew I was resilient, but that made me believe it. I knew I was confident, but that made me embody it. I knew I was capable, but that made me act on it.
The unconventional side of entrepreneurship is that you’re signing up for the ride of a lifetime. Not just in business, learning new skillsets, how to build a team, better yet - how to build a company. That’s half of it, and the easy part at that. The rest is going to push you to get radically honest with yourself if your capable of it, and unlearn, learn, and grow through a lot of shit that’s holding you back, and therefore your business.
The personal growth I have gained from entrepreneurship alone has challenged me to grow in ways I wouldn't have otherwise ever known. It sucked, it felt like shit, but I am a better entrepreneur, leader, and person because of it. This path isn't for everyone, and it’s not necessarily because building a business is hard - it is. But the hardest part is being willing to grow through your shit, so you can get out of your way and do the damn thing.
There are so many times looking back that I was 100% in my own way; it hurts to accept, but I was the very thing in the way of my success. The things I hadn’t yet healed, limiting beliefs I decided to subscribe to, and my overall mindset. All were things that kept me stuck, starting over, and self-sabotaging.
My journey here was messy to say the least, and I want you to know that if yours is feeling messy too. It’s okay. You're allowed to be messy. Growth isn't linear, and there’s so much value unseen in what you're moving through, in what this experience is teaching you.
My halter business I sold to friends I went to school with, and then had no new orders, so I stopped making them.
In my Reiki practice, Earthly Empowerment. I had a rush when I first started, returning clients, and I also incorporated my knowledge of herbology into my offerings. I shared a lot of my herbology practice on my Instagram and grew it to over 4k - I thought I had found my thing! But demand slowed, and I found myself in a bad life situation, so I moved with my family, deleted my IG, and unfortunately, wasn't able to find a way to keep practicing.
My skincare I already had a line previously while I was modelling. It was called ParamaVesta (which my agent called “Premo Pasta” because he always forgot the name - the lesson here is pick a name people can remember…and pronounce). I juggled those two alongside a sales position. I was doing well, but my risk & stress tolerance were low. I wasn't in healthy environments, and they chipped away at my internal bandwidth. I remember the day I decided to close it. I had received my inventory order for a local small business market where I had rented a table, and half the product arrived damaged or completely broken. I was in shambles, at my limit, and I threw the towel in.
It worked out in the end as that manufacturer ended up taking a direction that didn't align with my values or vision, and what I knew my customers wanted and needed. Thanks to the support of my partner, I found the courage to bring it back again. While on vacation, he helped me with a new logo, new branding, and continues to push me to my potential, whether it be with my businesses, my writing, or in the gym.
Another important part of my growth has been my network, which has come from it. Back when I had Edmund Halters, Earthly Empowerment, and ParamaVesta, I took on every challenge head-on and alone. I had no network of fellow business owners whom I could talk to, vent to, or bounce ideas off of who got where I was coming from. Who could see the vision too, but as I grew, I found my people.
I’ve met a handful of women who are not only fellow business owners but also in similar industries. One whom I met when my flight turned right around before landing to go back to where it started, and had that not happened, we’d have never met! These women are a source of strength, clarity, and confidence, not to mention the very definition of women who lift as they climb, and people I am very grateful to have in my life.
As I healed more deeply, I met my partner who not only empowers me in all aspects of my life, but is my safe space at the end of the day, and quiets every fear of inadequacy, thought of self-doubt, or “I cants” and rewrites it with love, belief in me, and proof that I can.
Make sure your village gives a shit, period. Having people around me who didn't only made me second-guess myself more, I questioned myself constantly. Versus having people who care, are willing to help pack orders, bring me food while I am glued to a screen to write, and talk it through on the days I feel like I have no idea what to do, is what made the saying “your network is your networth” really resonate. Without them, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be writing this, and I wouldn't have made the pivot that aligned my vision with my career and businesses.
Five years ago, I thought success meant a thriving business, a perfect brand, and financial freedom. Today, I realize success was never just about what I built - it was about who I became in the process.
The messy pivots, the late-night doubts, the jobs I took to scrape by and keep going…they weren’t failures. They were the curriculum. Entrepreneurship didn’t just teach me how to run a business; it forced me to confront every limiting belief, every fear of inadequacy, and every excuse that whispered, "You can’t."
I didn’t build an empire (yet), but I built something far more valuable: resilience, self-trust, and the unshakable knowing that every stumble was part of the path. If you’re in the thick of your own messy journey, remember this:
You are not behind.
You are not failing.
You are being shaped.
You are growing.The unconventional path isn’t for the faint of heart - but if you’re here, reading this, it’s because your heart is anything but faint. You’ve got grit. Keep going. The world needs what you’re building.
And when doubt creeps in, ask yourself: "What if this isn’t the end of my story, but the foundation of it?"
Because the truth is, the best entrepreneurs aren’t the ones who never fall, they’re the ones who choose to grow through it regardless.
The best part? You’re just getting started.